Today, I want to take the time to talk about relationships and love. Love is one of those things that can either be amazing or cause flat-out heartache. It is like being on a ship in the ocean – some days you will have calm waters, a beautiful sky and a gentle wind blowing. Other days – not so much. Other days, it might be roaring rough waters, a darkened and thundering sky and strong winds. Sometimes, it is even in the middle. My point is that love is not always perfect, and you should not expect it to be.
From my experience with love, things always start out perfect, like fairy tales. Things go downhill eventually, though.
In one of my past relationships, I thought everything was just fine, but it was not fine at all. In fact, it was a complete disaster. It turns out that the guy was not the guy who I thought he was. I thought he was a great guy with a caring heart when really he was just playing me. He was not really interested in having an actual relationship with me. He did not care about me as a person; he only cared about my body.
Perhaps he cared in the beginning, but after that first month of us talking and getting to know each other, he stopped doing all the little things and starting becoming more distant than I could handle. I was stunned; I did not have much experience with relationships going south, so I guess I was a little lost. I wanted to give him anything. I wanted to keep him. Nevertheless, he was going to leave one way or another. He still crosses my mind from time to time, but I know I am better off where I am now in life than where I was with him. It is his loss.
As you can imagine, this tore me to pieces. I had many restless nights and lost my sanity after that roller coaster. I felt that I was a stranger to my true self and normal behaviors, but now that about five months have passed, I have gained it back and am back to my mostly normal self and on my feet and with someone else. However, this gets me to my next point.
Heartbreak hurts. It is basic knowledge, but the thing we fail to see at this point is that this is not the end of the rope. We have our whole life ahead of us. Now, I know you are probably saying "Nobody wants to look at that fresh out of a relationship!" I am not saying you do, but it is a good way of trying to look at things instead of being so negative. Maybe think of it as an opportunity for a fresh start, but before you get to that, you have to heal. You cannot go very far without letting yourself heal your wounds.
There is a very good saying that goes with this: "Don't let someone break your heart in 15 seconds when it took nine months to form." Know this: You are strong. You have potential. You will get over this. Do not let this ruin you completely. Just take the time to get your emotions out, and do not allow yourself to bottle them in, do not let this stop you from being the person you are. Trust me, it is going to hurt for a while, but you cannot give up on yourself.
I believe in the saying "time heals". Nevertheless, some people might disagree. However, I find this ironic because I did not think time healed either, but looking back at myself back many moons ago compared to now, I am a believer that time is actually a very good way to heal. Healing from this pain is something you cannot simply do overnight, but must be done over time. It will be done. You will move on and find yourself again and be happy; it's just going to take time.