The signs have been there for months. You call your partner less frequently and the two of you no longer have things in common emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. You argue more than you did in the past and even counseling is not working. It is clear that you need to end the relationship but you want to do it in a respectful and caring manner. Here is how you should do it.
Honest reasons for the breakup
After the two of you decided on the time and place for the discussion, it is time to consider the reasons why you want to end the relationship. Make sure the reasons are not petty but more serious. Sometimes couples clash because their personalities and quirks are different from each other but generally it does not require a breakup. However, if your partner constantly cheats or verbally abuses you, then a breakup is necessary. If you contributed to some of the problems that are causing the breakup, apologize and ask for forgiveness.
Let the other partner speak
Your partner might not like what you are telling her and she will want to give her side of the story. You should let her give her thoughts on the breakup because it is her way of expressing her anger and this is what she needs to begin the closure process. Even if you disagree with what she says, remain calm and let her speak her mind as long as it doesn't get too heated.
Don't belittle their character
While you do not like your partner's behavior in the relationship, it is important not to belittle their character or talk to them in a harsh manner because it only makes things worse. Instead, talk about some of the good qualities he has in spite of recent problems in the relationship. If he is a great father to the child the two of you have together, mention it during the discussion.
Avoid breaking up over the phone or through texts
This is not the most respectful way to end a relationship and it might come off as immature by your partner. It is best to meet with her in person but if the two of you cannot get along at all, then you can write a handwritten or typed letter and mail it to her. If there are safety concerns, a text or email message would probably work the best.
If possible, try to remain friends
Depending on the situation, you and your partner may not be on bad terms. It just means that the two of you have grown apart recently and it is time for the relationship. If this is the case, see if a friendship is possible between the two of you. This might not happen right away so you should give your partner time before it occurs.
Breaking up can be difficult but it is necessary if your current relationship is not where you want it to be long term. Use the lessons from the past relationship to know what to do in your next one.