When I announced that my boyfriend and I were planning on getting married, half my family disapproved of who I chose to be my husband. For anyone finding themselves in a similar situation, here are some things to remember when choosing your future spouse and dealing with the drama that can ensue from doing so.
Follow YOUR heart, not everyone else’s.
The simple matter of the fact is that you are the one getting married, not everyone else. It doesn’t matter that you are engaged to someone who waits tables while your mother wants you to be engaged to a doctor. In the scheme of things, what is most important is how you feel about the person you are going to share the rest of your life with.
Now that is not to say that you should disregard any advice your family gives to you in reference to the person you are engaged to. Parents sometimes have an eerie way of giving good advice, almost like they can look into our minds and untangle the knot of worries and doubt we carry. The truth is a lot of us have parents who know us almost better that anyone else. If anyone is worth listening to, it would be them. But at the end of the day, you are going to be the one to say I do, not your mother, father, sister or anyone else. That gives you the right to choose who is going to provide, protect and cherish you through all those moments.
Follow your God (or your gut).
Let’s say one of your family members has sat you down (again) and tried to convince you that you are making a mistake. When I was considering marrying my husband, I felt so bogged down by what other people were telling me to do that sometimes it was hard to decipher what felt right to me and wrong to others. In times like those I would retreat to a safe spot and just pray. Afterwards I would feel peace about my decision and I would feel that ultimately it was my choice to choose who I married. Now that may not be the answer that everyone will receive if they pray, but if you are religious, praying about who you should marry is a huge help.
But what if you aren’t religious? Well then I recommend sitting down, meditating and simply following your gut. More often than not, your gut is trying to tell you where to go and what to do. Maybe it’s the voice in the back of your head or just a feeling from the depths of somewhere you can’t even explain, but trust in that voice and take peace in knowing that your gut is trying to lead you where you need to go.
Don’t look back!
You are the maker of your own life. Once you have made up your mind and you have prayed or followed your gut and decided to marry the person you love and cherish, don’t look back. No matter what anyone says. You are the one going to say “I do,â€" not them.
This includes not looking back on previous relationships and heartbreaks. It doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t look back and look at what you had. Look at your future and embrace it wholeheartedly.
Your life is yours to live.
Life is ultimately made up of two choices. The first that you will live life for others and the second that you will live your life for yourself. Life is too short and worth too much to chose the former. Whether it is marriage, a career, having (or not having) kids, or simply what crowd of friends you associate with, choose for yourself and be content. Your life is yours to live.